When we think of having balance in our lives, it often relates to the amount of time spent at work, compared to time with family and then socially or pursuing our own interests. Of course, it usually seems to be loaded one way and we are always on the search for how to have it all and on a more even keel. But have you thought about what balance is really all about?
I was recently asked what balance means to me.
I instinctively knew the answer I would give but I didn’t reply immediately. I sat with the knowing for a moment, realising how much has shifted for me in the past year or so.
Despite working full-time (far too many hours), caring for a family and growing this online home, I still feel some form of balance every day. I’m not super organised, I spend far too many hours sitting at a computer and I still don’t do enough for my own self care – I’m still pushing just a little too hard.
But I’m aware and I’m learning. I’ve realised that everything in my world relates to the relationship I have with myself and how I think and feel about myself.
Balance to me is what I feel on the inside. It’s the place and power I tap in to, that creates a feeling of being grounded and centred.
So I go through my days still working and caring and coaching and blogging, but I do so much more calmly and on my terms. Don’t be mistaken, it’s not perfect! I still get hassled and stressed at times, but it’s so much easier to change from the crazy place to the calmer person I prefer to be.
Life flows so much better and feels more balanced when you feel calmer within yourself.
My tips for creating balance:
Remember to breathe!
Deep breaths and focussing your thoughts on the breaths helps to bring your mind in to your body, helping to slow down your racing mind. Developing a relationship with your breath is key and that’s where regular deep breathing, with your eyes closed, can really help.
Take some time for yourself
Tell yourself that you are deserving of relaxation or doing something you really enjoy. Don’t keep putting it off, make the time this week. Schedule the time in your diary if you need to. A bath, reading a book or a magazine, a massage or facial, a walk or a run – you get the picture, choose something that feels good to you.
Sit still and do nothing
This is the hardest to do, but getting used to sitting by yourself, and just looking out the window, being aware of what the garden looks like or how the trees are blowing in the wind, is amazing. It’s learning to become present in your own world. (warning – do NOT look out the window and think about how much gardening you need to do lol!!)
You don’t need to do everything!
… even if you think it’s easier if you do. It’s okay to not have the house looking perfect, to ask your partner or kids to help you with the chores, to maybe outsource something you don’t enjoy doing. As women we feel like we have to be on top of everything all of the time. Try to be a little more strategic in how you manage the home, for example, what things could be done a little less often while still looking okay. I’ve noticed that since we haven’t had a dog (we lost our beautiful boy at age 13½), I don’t need to vacuum nearly as much. Maybe you could even pay someone to clean, even once a month, or mow the lawn, or do a bit of gardening. (You are also helping that person by giving them the job.)
So work on FEELING balance in your life rather than HAVING balance in your life.
Develop a relationship with yourself, so that you feel resourceful and connected.
Take yourself seriously, know that you are deserving of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
I can assure you, it makes all the difference.
(Said with love, from me to you, because I’ve experienced the difference and I want you to experience it too. It really is life changing.)